The time I almost didn’t get let into the UK…

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I flew to Berlin on Saturday night. By the time I got to my hostel it was fairly late so I just wandered a little around the centre, soaking up the incredible Berlin-Saturday-night vibe. I forgot how much I loved it there, I spent the whole bus ride to the city with a grin on my face. So many memories from living there 2 years ago! There happened to be a Vietnamese fair on at Alexanderplatz so I saw some cool Vietnamese performers, ate some amazing food and drank Vietnamese beer. Funny doing that in Germany, but that’s what Berlin is all about 🙂

I then had a few beers at the hostel bar (I happened to be staying at another hostel with a huge bar) with the coolest and most beautiful Indian girl I’ve ever met and retreated to bed for an early train ride in the morning.

So Sunday I was off to the Netherlands! The 7 hr train ride went surprisingly quickly and before I knew it I was in Amsterdam and Marcus and Anouk (my amazing Dutch friends who I lived with in Berlin) were at the station waiting for me 🙂 After a dinner with 3 amazing Dutchies (Mel was the third) we went out to a club. They said it was/is a squatter building and they’ve made a gay club in the basement that is only open Sundays and is so cheap! You have to arrive early and only the first few hundred get in. Luckily we were early and got in 🙂 It was a very interesting night…. I have only been to a few gay clubs in my time and to be honest I wouldn’t have even noticed they were gay clubs if I hadn’t had been told! But this was different. It was a really fun night of dancing to cheesy pop music, hearing some terrible Karaoke and meeting some lovely butch Ann- Maries. Haha 😉 The drinks were so cheap I couldn’t keep track of how many vodkas and beers I’d had and didn’t realise I was drunk until we stumbled out at closing time! I think the 20 minute walk home took us over an hour with so many exciting (not) things to see on the way home. Haha

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The next day, hungover, I went to do the touristy thing in Amsterdam. It was my third time there yet I really hadn’t seen or done a lot. First stop I needed the Internet so I went to an Internet cafe, which of course also sells weed. I’m pretty sure I got stoned just from the fumes! I then went walking only to be drenched in rain as usual at
which point I got fed up and went and bought boots, socks and a new umbrella. (Never come to a summer in Europe thinking it’s actually going to be summer!) I walked for hours and for the first time I really fell in love with Amsterdam. I can see why, besides the obvious, that the tourists all love it there. It has such a nice vibe and is so much fun 🙂

We went for dinner in Utrecht (another city in the Netherlands, about half hour from Amsterdam) at the lovely Annaleis’ place. She has the most cosy little apartment overlooking the canals.. I was seriously dreaming of doing a life swap! The funny thing about the Netherlands is that you can drive from one side of the country to the other in a few hours and there is never any bare land! Such a vast difference from my home country! Later I went to Marcus’ apartment to crash for the night and his apartment was equally amazing, overlooking the city of Utrecht with amazing-Marcus charm.

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The next day was spent exploring Utrecht, which I discovered is a less cheesy/touristy Amsterdam with a more laid-back feel which makes it amazing in it’s on way. I had a huge student dinner and went to see Anouk play soccer. We then headed back to Amsterdam and I thought it was about time I saw the red light district. What an experience! As sad as it is that girls are selling their bodies right in front of your eyes, the place is really, really cool! We were only going to walk through, but we ended up spending a few hours there having some beers with some fellow tourists. I can see why everybody loves the place! Prostitutes, live sex shows, peep shows, weed, hash… Everything is at your fingertips!

So this morning I left the amazing country of Holland and headed for Germany to get my flight to London. I don’t know if today was not my day or not, but I almost didn’t make it! When I handed over my passport to the passport control in Germany I could see he was searching for my entry stamp, which I didn’t have. I don’t know if this guy knows this, but half the time you enter Germany you don’t get a stamp! They really need to sort their shit out and not question me about why I don’t have a stamp- If I don’t get a stamp when I arrive then I’m not guna ask for one!
Anyway German-guy decided he couldn’t be bothered and let me through- no problems.

I then found a bar in the airport, which only consisted of English businessmen and women who looked as dull as a bloody stale loaf so I drank a bottle of wine on my own, happily facebooking. (I am still trying to find cures to my fear of flying so I decided to test out the wine bottle theory once again.) All was great and the flight went smoothly and surprisingly I wasn’t scared 🙂
AND THEN I LANDED IN F**KING LONDON HEATHROW.

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I was being very optimistic that I would really have an amazing time in London as my previous visits weren’t all that memorable. I was being fair and giving it a go, good on me 😉 haha Anyway I landed to find the usual 6km walk to immigration from the landing gate to line up in the usual 2 hour Heathrow line up. That was frustrating enough and I now remembered one of the reasons London annoys me so much. When I finally made it through to my stupid old woman in the booth, she decided I was some sort of criminal and grilled me for hours about every detail of my life. This woman probably knows more about me than my own family does!

What countries have you been to in the last 2 years?
How many days in each country?
How do you have so much money?
Why do you travel so much?
What will you be doing in London?
Who are you visiting?
How did you meet your friend?
What kind of party will your friend take you to?
What occupations have you done since you left school 7 years ago?
Talk about interoggation!

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After all that grilling she still wasn’t satisfied so sat me on the naughty bench before disappearing for god knows how long. I was on the naughty bench with about a dozen Africans and of course I was the only Australian who might possibly be refused entry to a country which I share the same queen with! WTF!? I later found out that while she was gone she rang Lucy and also asked her 300 questions.After what seemed like an eternity, a smokeless, drink-less, toilet-less, phone-less eternity she came back and sat on her almighty throne (her chair in her booth) and waved me over like I was some naughty child at school who was caught throwing rocks at cars and stamped me in. Oh, but not before she warned me that this will happen to me because I travel a lot, so I should get used to it. HUH!?
Unbelievable! It took me 5 hours from when I landed until I got to Lucy’s place… What a nightmare!!

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