What’s the weirdest questions someone has ever asked you? As a travel agent we get some pretty strange requests.
For the past year I have been compiling the stupid, strange and ridiculous customer questions and statements that I and other industry legends encounter every day working as an agent for Australia/Pacific. Questions such as “is there water around the whole island?”
The stupid questions & statements…
Water confusion:
“The Great Barrier Reef liveaboard with 11 dives, how many dives are included?”
“I don’t want to pay to go to the Great Barrier Reef. Can I just walk there?”
Customer on a Great Barrier Reef boat: “When do you take the coral out to paint them?”
“I don’t want to go kayaking, I look fat when I sit down.”
“Can I snorkel under the island?”
“Will I get wet if I wear a wetsuit in the water?”
“I’m on my period, am I going to attract sharks on the Reef?”
The animals:
“How do I see the penguins at night if they’re black?”
On a Red Centre tour: “Are Kangaroos always that small? Because I told my friends I would get a picture inside the pouch.”
“Where can I buy crocodile repellent?”
“I can’t believe people say Australia is full of Kangaroos. I’ve been in Sydney 4 months and haven’t seen one!”
Geography lost:
“Will I get jetlag on the bus from Sydney to Byron Bay because its overnight?”
“Do I need a visa for Tasmania?”
French couple in Cairns. “We want some information about Uluru. Do the tours pick up in Cairns?”
“I’m just checking my tickets for my trip.. Nomads Noosa, is that my accommodation in Cairns?”
“I want to drive around Australia in 8 days and then do the Spirit of TANZANIA”
An Australian customer: ” I want to go to New Zealand because I don’t want to spend $300 on a passport.”
Another Australian: “I want to go to Europe.” And when the agent asked where in Europe: “Duh, the country Europe.”
In Alice Springs: “Which street is Uluru on?”
And the rest:
“Do you ride down the mountain on the mountain biking?”
“If I fly business class can I choose what time I fly?”
“I want budget dorm with private room”
The paranoid:
From an American: “What are your tour safety procedures? (Ie. protocol in case of a terrorist attack.)”
And probably the dumbest question of all, which was actually asked by a travel agent..
“Does the campervan come with a driver?”
The unfortunate names…
Manon Boye
Jason Glasscock
Sally Allcock
Lieke De Kock
Bich Phuc Dat
Dominik Gross
Anna Toogood
Bent Knob
Toby Lederhosen
Anne-Marie Hitler
Couple traveling together..
Girls last name: Stockings
Boys last name: Waring
And the awesome:
Robin Hood!
The dietary requirements…
- No seafood on my Red Centre Tour
- Allergic to all melons, except Rockmelon
- Vegetarian but eats Kangaroo
- Allergic to cooked tomatoes, but not raw tomatoes
- Allergic to Mustang Grapes.. WTF are Mustang Grapes?!
The racists..
When filling out a questionnaire that asks Nationality these 4 didn’t quite understand the question:
Black
White
White British
White Mixed British
The just-weird…
A customer from Switzerland believed he was undercharged by my company 14 years ago for some travel and emailed us wanting to re-pay his debt. As nice a gesture, I told him he didn’t need to worry.
This resume for a job:
The typos…
The typos by travel agents:
Sending an email signed with “Kind retards”
“The breast thing to do is..”
“Its very busty right now along the East Coast”
“Sorry for the incontinence” (instead of inconvenience)
Typos by customers:
“How does the bus work? Like, getting to different love actions?” (locations)
“Yes, I will open my box.” (Inbox/email)
The just-stupid..
Customer jumping in the ocean with fins (flippers) on their hands
A British customer in Thailand thought that selecting “English” on an ATM meant she would get “English money”.. Needless to say the ATM fee for 200 Baht was more than the actual cash she got!
Backpacker at a hostel writing her name on the non sticky side of a label, sticking the label to the reception desk and trying for 20 minutes to stick the other part on her food bag.
Lost in translation..
Dutch customer telling a Vegas story “When I was in Vegas I lost my goat” (coat)
