California

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No, my life isn’t that sad that I am writing blogs on Facebook instead of enjoying my time in California.. the truth is its 4am and I am wide awake and all the drunks are passed out and no-one would come to Ihop with me 🙁 waaaaaa! So to kill time until the sun comes up thought I would write down my adventures so far!! 🙂
The plane trip was awesome, first time I have slept solid on a plane in like 10 yrs… probably due to the fact that Shaun and I got pissed at the airport bar in Brisbane before we got on.

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I then took a few valium and had wine with my lunch. Then we got on it again at breakfast just before landing into LA. I managed to spill a whole rum and coke in the aisle which was a very pleasant smell for us and our neighbours. Oops!
We arrived in the morning into LAX and  then took a bus to our hotel and  Kim, Jamie-Lee and Narelle went to sleep, while Ronnie, Shaun and I decided to hit up the pool bar. Seeings it was morning the bar wasn’t open yet we cruised up to the 7/11 where we purchased an 18 pack of Budweiser for $13!! Amazing. (Alcohol is so cheap here!) We polished that off in no time and then hit up the cocktails which we must have had about 50 of. We spent $200 at the bar in less than 2 hours. SILLY. Ronnie then got lost (in the hotel!) and so the rest of us headed into Disneyland village to hit up the House of blues only to realise that I’m not  yet 21 which means no house of blues for me! 🙁 So sad and so strange. Probably a good thing anyway as I was pretty much smashed and bed was calling. We stopped to pick up fatty some steak on the way home and were finding it very hard not to fall asleep in the restaurant… actually there may have been a point where we did. Oops! We then went to walk home and we could see the “S” for our Sheraton hotel on the side of the building, but that didn’t mean we knew how to follow it! Haha
I think I may have passed out before my head hit the pillow and guess what time it was?? (You’re not going to believe how hardcore we are)… 7.30pm! Hahaha

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The next day started with a 6am breakfast at Ihop. (Amazing!) and a lot of recapping what had actually happened the day before. I can see why there are so many obese americans, the meals are HUGE. I then made an awkward call to room service at 8.30am asking for them to bring a cork screw so I could open my $3 bottle of 7/11 red wine. Haha, alcoholic much? It wasn’t even 9am by the time we had a party going in the room and I’d already spilled red wine all over my dress!
We then headed to Knotts berry farm (a theme park)… lets just say they are extremely patriotic. While waiting for it to open they played the national anthem and everyone had their hand over their heart (except Jamie-Lee who for a while thought her heart was on her right side) and they all stood looking at the American flag. Weird! Can u imagine if they played the Aussie anthem out the front of dreamworld.. we’d all have a laugh!
Anyway we spent a few hours there going on roller-coaster after roller-coaster until we were all feeling very ill.
We then ventured to a shopping mall where I picked out my wedding ring from… wait for it… WAL MART hahahahha makes the silly wedding that extra bit funnier! We had a few beers at a buffalo wings bar.. first place that didn’t ID me, wooooo! And we had a little gay Asian waiter called crispy. Go crispy!

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Back to the hotel we went where I got back on the $3 red. Feeling really tired I thought I would be a hero and pop 4 Nodoz chased with wine. BIG MISTAKE. I started to get the shakes like an 80 year old with Parkinson’s, hot and cold flushes, out of control heart beat and a friggen sick feeling gut. We went to hooters and about 15 minutes in I was wrapped around the toilet bowl. I  couldn’t drink the whole night, was just back and forth from the loo spewing. It was still an AMAZING time and Hooters absolutely rocks my world! The waitresses did some pretty hott booty dances while the mexican kitchen staff ran laps around the kitchen because their hockey team scored a point. Haha funny shit. Everybody got drunk but me as I continued to spew even up until we got home. So I’ve now had one hour sleep and its 4am and I’m ready to rumble. And I’m STARVING but I don’t want to wander the cold streets alone. Not even ronnie would come to Ihop with me. Bitch! (Well I did call her and wake her up at 3am… haha)
So now I guess I wait until the drunken kids wake up and then I’ll have friends! Yay! We’ll probably go and hit up some beaches tomorrow and check out where the OC is filmed! yehhhhhhhhh 🙂

I LOVE THE US OF A!!!!!!

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