Drunk in Dubai



So its my only full day in Dubai so I get up nice and early and head down to the beach. You have to pay to go the beach here! And then when you get there you can pay to have a deck chair as well. I got to the beach at 9.30am and it was already 42 degrees! The water was about 30 degrees so it was like having a warm shower. Still nice though and the staring wasn’t so bad because there were so many other girls in bikinis! Yay! ūüôā¬†So after spending 4 hours in the sun with no sunscreen I ended up looking like rudolph with a sunnies tan. Such a good look!

That afternoon¬†I was hanging for a decent drinking session and badly needed to find some English speakers! So I googled ‘Irish bar’ and found an ideal one. (If ever in doubt, find an Irish bar… I think every city in the world has at least one!)¬†I wasn’t planning on having a big one, but¬†I think in the back of my mind I knew that¬†I would. You’d think in that case I would be organised and make sure I was packed for the morning to take my flight to London, but nooooooo, that would be logical! Not that clever! So off¬†I went to ‘Irish village’.¬†I asked the bartender for an Irish beer besides¬†Guiness. So the clever barman put a pint of¬†VB on the bar and tried to pass it off as an Irish beer.¬†I laughed and said this is Australian! He’s like ‘oh, you’re Aussie? Oops’ Haha nice try!¬†To top¬†it off it was the most expensive VB I’ve ever had in my life at over¬†10 bucks a pint!
I sat at the bar for a little while,¬†until a group of people invited me to their table. Before I knew it, it was dark, I was drunk, the pub was full and we were being kicked out because¬†I told the waitor to get a sense of humour. This was because he wasn’t impressed that we’d built a tower of on the table consisting of salt and pepper shakers, sauce bottles and napkin holders. In revenge of him kicking me out¬†I stole the bottle of Heinz tomato sauce that was on the table. Haha. I am so hardcore! We went on to another bar, well nightclub sort of bar, and girls drink vodka for free! Me and free drinks obviously result in absolute¬†messiness!



I can’t remember what time I got home, but I remember calling reception and telling them to give me a wake up call at 6.15am as I had a shuttle booked for 7am to go to the airport.
Next thing¬†I know its morning and there is a receptionist and a bell boy standing over my bed saying “Ma’am, ma’am, youve missed your flight!” It took me a good few minutes to comprehend what was going and I¬†jolted up and screamed “Noooooooo! I CANNOT miss my flight!” Reality sunk in as I realised my whole Euro trip would be changed¬†if I missed my flight due to being a drunken idiot.¬†I didnt have the money for another flight. They said they had called my hotel phone (which by the way was 20cm from my head) about 10¬†times and had been knocking on my door all morning!
LUCKILY it was only just after 8am when they woke me up so I had time to get there. I jumped out of bed fully clothed still (thankfully) and threw everything in my suitcase that was spread over the hotel room. I had to sit on it and get the bell boy to zip it up fro  beneath me because it was overflowing with crap.
So far I have discovered I left one shoe, the tomato sauce (that I stole from the Irish bar) and all my travel itenaries and tickets behind. Oops :s

So you know when you see the idiot at the airport who is running to catch their plane trying to juggle all their luggage and you think “God, how can you be so late to a flight? Be more organised next time!” Well that was me! When I arrived at the desk I was told to get to my gate immediately. As I was scurrying through the airport trying not to drop the million things I had shoved into my hand luggage I noticed that I still had a considerate amount of Dubai money in my bag. (Must have been due to all that free vodka!) So in my still-drunken state I cheekily stopped in at a duty free store and bought alcohol, cigarettes and chocolate. As I ran a little further I saw the big yellow arches of an airport McDonalds calling me… I ran in and spent the very last, to the cent, of my Dubai money and I was on my way, Maccas in hand.
So I made it just in time, got on the flight reeking of alcohol, showerless, with unbrushed teeth, a very sore head and made my way to London. I feel sorry for the people seated next to me because I can almost guarantee I snored that entire 8 hour flight and they probably got tipsy off my vodka-seeping pores.
But I made it to London after all ready for the next European adventure!


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